Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Summary Of Chiang Mai (well sort of)

Ok so everyone has started writing summaries about Chiang Mai on their blogs lately. Not trying to be mean in any way, shape or form when I say this but reading them has been boring. I mean most people would just be like "Chiang Mai was great blah blah blah but the physical work and tents sucked blah blah blah but I made new friends and so and so was being a real a-hole but whatever it was an awesome trip". I dont want to have to name names but I mean come one guys half of us were there with you and the other half probably dont care about the friends you made and about how many mosquito bites you got.

Ok now that my mini rant is over I can finally started writing what I wanted to write about. This is going to sound ridiculous after that rant but here is my summary of Chiang Mai.

Fun, yes this is going to be fun
Expectations higher than mountain we set off
Everything perfect like a polished marble floor
But polish wears off and marble cracks

Walking on rusted metal nails hurt
But if we wear shoes its not so bad
Trying to keep our balance one falls
Then a few more
Then a few more
No one stands but me
Everyone laying on the ground slowly bleeding to death
Everyone but me

Everyone else almost dead now we see the end of the darkness
But for me there never was a darkness
Or maybe there always is a darkness
Everyone else slowly crawling to the light
I still can't see the light
Or maybe its always been there

Everyones gone
Gone beyond
Beyond the light
Beyond the darkness

Down down down
Down I fall
Down the never ending hole
I see them now
Everyone else
Standing on top of me staring down the hole
No more wounds on their body
No more wounds I see
They look at me and I look back
No one says anything
So neither do I

No more blood now
No more blood but my own
No more wounds now
No more wounds but my own
No more rusted nails
Only giant spikes that await me on the bottom of this never ending hole.

Ok so most of you wound not have understood a word that I just said in those poems. And if you didn't understand them I wouldn't blame you. There extremely abstract and very different. But if you did understand them please leave me a comment.

I hope you enjoyed reading my summary of Chiang Mai and found it interesting compared to the other ones.

17 comments:

  1. Hamza, I like how you tried to write a very strong and interesting poem, I really liked it. I might not have understand most of the words but I could see the thought and detail you put into the poem. I also like how in general you are critical, most people are afraid to do that. Yo inspire me. I also agree with you on how nobody cares on the friends people made and how many mosquito bites they got. That is a good point that you made. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks.

      Im glad to see that someone else is getting board of reading about mosquito bites. To bad you didn't understand the poem though

      Delete
    2. Being critical does not have to look like this. And there is a time and place and a reason to be critical, my question is what was the point of the rant? Why not just share the poem? What do you think Brenden?

      Delete
    3. Well, Sorry for the late reply first of all, but if people want to do their own thing thay can, why does it bother other people? It was quite a complicated poem though, But I can agree that people shouldnt write about how thye hate mosquito's and all of that.

      Delete
  2. Part of why we are doing all of "this" is so we can learn how to interact online and offline. I must admit that I was a bit put off, by how you discredit so many of your peers in the intro to your post. We spend so much time trying to convince each other that we are building a supportive environment for ourselves as a writers, so what does it say when a member of our own community, puts down other members for simply sharing their stories.

    Their stories may not be written in the style you prefer, but they are valid and true to them nonetheless. I would be upset if I had written a story that I felt to be honest and true, only to hear you mock it in your post.

    I am not angry as I understand that all experiences are learning experiences. You have a right to your opinion and you have the right to say what you like in your space, but at what expense? Our words and ideas are powerful, our communities tender. So please be mindful of your audience and your peers as they read your words. Is what you are saying worth saying? Will it upset or offend?

    You are really getting this "blogging" things, so I would love for you to think deeply about what you are doing. Thanks Hamza.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok so I totally understand how the intro to the post can be very mean but here is why I wrote it. Its not that I'm hating on my peers for writing something I dont like because if I dont like it them I would just stop reading the post. First of all I think that everyone that owns a blog in the school has a right to say what they want to and post anything in anyway the like as you mentioned. Secondly I didn't mean to offend anyone I just wanted to say that I find the Chiang Mai posts boring and repetitive. Thirdly Im almost 100% sure that the my peers posting these posts are proud of them and dont care what I say. Lastly I could have done without the rant.

      "And there is a time and place and a reason to be critical, my question is what was the point of the rant?" The rant the rant does have a place it belongs on this post. The reasons the reason is to share my thought to use my voice to give my opinion.

      "Our words and ideas are powerful, our communities tender." I would have to disagree with that statement. Sure words and ideas our powerful but I think that the people that are posting the posts about Chiang Mai (that includes me) dont really care what I have to say about their posts. IF I went to one of there posts and told them I dont like it the wouldn't care. They wouldn't care because they are to proud of their work to care if someone like me likes it. I also understand that we are trying to build a community of writers on the blogs but did you really expect that everything would be all rainbows and unicorns and no one would disagree? Our community, Its not all that tender. Its more like a piece of toast. Its all hard on the out side but on the inside all chewy and soft. Burn the toast and it tastes bad. Put jam on it and it becomes sweet. Put burn it and then put some jam on top and its something totally different.

      Delete
  3. Let's take a breath and talk about this rationally. I am not trying to dictate what can and cannot be said. I am aware that once given a voice not everything will be "rainbows and unicorns." But I think we can try to be civil and kind. Let's take a closer look:

    "I think that everyone that owns a blog in the school has a right to say what they want to and post anything in anyway the like as you mentioned."

    Sure, I suppose you are right. Just like anyone in a society can technically do anything they want, but at some point our personal freedoms blur with communal needs. Sure we CAN say and do what we want in anyway we want, but if we believe in community than we must at least respect others right not to be harassed and abused publicly.


    Secondly I didn't mean to offend anyone I just wanted to say that I find the Chiang Mai posts boring and repetitive.

    You are entitled to your opinion. But why bring it up? What do you gain by putting others down?

    Thirdly Im almost 100% sure that the my peers posting these posts are proud of them and dont care what I say.

    They may be proud, but no one likes to be publicly insulted and put down. So many people acting so insensitively online. Just take a look at any Youtube video comment section, but why do we perpetuate this behavior? I was hoping that we could use these spaces to learn from each other and share ideas. Perhaps I am over reacting, and I am aware that these spaces will not create a Utopian space, but I was hoping that arguments and disagreements wold be based on logical arguments and clearly worded discourse.

    Lastly I could have done without the rant.

    That is all I am saying. I really respect the work you have done and really enjoying reading your blog. You are thoughtful, creative and are developing an understanding of the power of these spaces, I was just disappointed to see you lash out.

    I am now confused, cuz a few lines ago you said that maybe you could have done without the rat then you said this, "The rant the rant does have a place it belongs on this post. The reasons the reason is to share my thought to use my voice to give my opinion."

    But let's not argue in circles. I wanted to touch on one final point. You said, "The people that are posting the posts about Chiang Mai (that includes me) dont really care what I have to say about their posts."

    Then what is the point? If we don't care what other people think? If we do not value other opinions? If we are not looking for discourse and sharing if ideas than what is the point?

    The hope is that we do care about what others think and that we do take pride in our work, our ideas and our words and that we engage. We argue and talk and share, but we do not insult and rant for no reason.

    I am not looking for rainbows or unicorns. I am looking for a community of young people that demands to be taken seriously. I am looking for a community of young people who are confident and well spoken and can clearly articulate ideas.

    Is that too much to ask?



    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow okay. Definitely not what I expected. Can't wait to get into this one.

    Firstly, you said "a-hole".. on a school blog..
    Anyways, I agree with what Mr. Raisdana is saying. There is a difference between giving your opinion, and sounding whiney and spiteful. These blogs are here to voice our insights on certain aspects, yes, but there is a fine line between having a voice and sending hate. The first part of this post unfortunately, is definitely hate.
    I don't think it is any of your business what other people in the grade have to say about Chiang Mai. I am not one of the people posting about the trip, yet I still find minor offense in the language used and the vibe this post radiates. It is far, far too negative for a blog.
    It is extremely easy to put down people on the internet without knowing. Which is why its so important to think repetitively about what your posting, the type of people you are targeting, and thinking of yourself in this situation and how you would react.
    How would you like it if I sat here and called your posts boring, mundane, insipid etc? Maybe you wouldn't care, maybe you would. It is how you personally react to certain comments. Which brings me down to this comment: "Thirdly Im almost 100% sure that the my peers posting these posts are proud of them and dont care what I say." How do you know? If I WAS one of the people who had written a similar post as to what you have ranted about in your post, the comment I am writing right now would have been far different from what it currently is, and I think we both know that. And thats just me. Imagine the others, I definitely don't think they'd be okay with it.
    It all comes back to your digital footprint. You were there in Grade 4, so I know you know what I am talking about. People will come on your blog, screen shot this post even if you delete it, post it somewhere else saying something like; "Ignorant boy from grade 8 hating on certain blog posts" and maybe this could affect your future? Obviously this won't happen for such a small thing as calling some blog posts boring, but I think this is what Mr. Raisdana is trying to get you to understand. That its inappropriate to say certain things, and in certain places. And if you are not careful, there is a chance of it hurting you in the years to come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A-hole....A, A is a meaningless letter in the vast sea of words known to man kind. I thought we had this argument on my other post.

      "It is far, far too negative for a blog." Well what did you expect from me. A post about how cute a pony looks when its wearing a hat? And how are you to define what is too negative for a post and what isn't?

      "Maybe you wouldn't care, maybe you would. It is how you personally react to certain comments." Your right, honestly I really wouldn't care. I wouldn't care if people started calling me stupid or boring or weird on this blog. You want to know why I wouldn't care. I wouldn't care because I strongly believe that you should always be yourself and no matter what anyone does dont change into what they want you to be.

      "Imagine the others, I definitely don't think they'd be okay with it." This goes back to what I said earlier. If the others aren't okay with may opinions well thats not really my problem. And I understand that the rant is mean towards some people. And some people will take it very seriously. But what is the point of a rant if the people you are ranting about are not affected? And in one way or another whatever someone might do there will always be someone that is affected in both a good or bad way.

      "here is a fine line between having a voice and sending hate." Who are you to tell me what that line is? And what if my voice was sending hate, its still my voice right? And also that line does exist by the way. That line however isn't very fine but it is there. There are so many things I wanted to say and write about in this blog that I couldn't because of that line.

      And lastly that line has a major bend in it somewhere. Hate comes to me one way and no one says anything about it. But for some reason I cant send it back the other way. There is the example well more of an event I want to mention here but cant. Stupid line.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. -Comment was removed due to a gazillion grammatical errors, this is the same thing-
      Ok, no offense Hamza, but you've contradicted yourself about four times in this reply.
      Firstly- a-hole. It is a universal short form, please don't try and get into "IT CAN MEAN ANYTHING" because it does not. It means ***hole, and you, the teachers, and most readers that read your blog know that perfectly well.
      Secondly- Who am I to define what a negative post is? Um, I am not defining anything. It ridiculously obvious that it is negative, and it is. Are you telling me that your post is positive? Because if thats what your saying then I'm guessing this paragraph I am typing is completely invalid, and it should be a whole other point I should be making.
      Thirdly- Yeah, I understand you wouldn't care. Which is why I brought that up in my post, and how some people can react differently to things than you. This is what you are always forgetting. Not everyone is as "emotionally capable of handling negative comments" as you are. Not everyone can have their work, that they are so extremely committed to, be put down and be okay with it. When authors go to editors, half the time- editors slash their work, take things out till it goes from a 600 page book to 300, and it still hurts. But that is constructive criticism. Your post however, just puts down a whole group of people without a reasonable explanation other than of course: "no one cares" which btw, more people than you think, do.
      Fourthly- It kind of is your problem that people are hurt by what you post, because you don't care about putting down your friends?
      " But what is the point of a rant if the people you are ranting about are not affected?" < What? I'm saying they are affected. "And in one way or another whatever someone might do there will always be someone that is affected in both a good or bad way." < Whattttt?
      Fifthly- Who am I to tell you what that line is? Because I have sent hate before. I didn't know I did, but I was definitely told off and I recognized my mistake so that I don't make it again. And its a pretty universal thing- that line- so its not really my opinion, but about a million other people's as well.
      Sixthly- "And what if my voice was sending hate, its still my voice right?" Are you serious?
      Seventhly- "And also that line does exist by the way. That line however isn't very fine but it is there. There are so many things I wanted to say and write about in this blog that I couldn't because of that line. " What? I know there is a line.. and I mentioned it.. but you said there is no line.. but now you are telling me there is.. what?
      Eighthly- "And lastly that line has a major bend in it somewhere. Hate comes to me one way and no one says anything about it. But for some reason I cant send it back the other way. There is the example well more of an event I want to mention here but cant. Stupid line." Please don't get into this. If someone is giving you a hard time, no one is stopping you from telling the teachers. Fighting fire with fire will just ignite the flame, so try and burn it out instead.

      Delete
    4. This is a big rant, Antara, why does this bother you? If this is what Hamza likes and this is what is website is like, then you should respect that, what if he went upto your blog and said it was too cheerful for a blog, I think tumblr has gotten to your head...

      Delete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I disagree with you Antara because I feel that when other people write about Chiang mai they are not actually writing what they felt and they're deep feelings and I understand if you dont want to post this but if you want to post about Chiang mai write about your actual feelings. I know what you did I was there and I experienced but I want know what you actually felt. But I dont think Hamza needed to say it in such a harsh way. Oh and Hamza you're right i dont understand the poem but I would like to

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Neenu. I absolutely never said that what Hamza said was incorrect, I just said his opinion was wrongly voiced, and could be said in a much more constructive way. I can give about 30 examples of that.

      Delete
  7. Wow. Great, however aggressive, conversation. I agree with Anatara that Hamza has a right to his ideas, but perhaps didn't need to be so cruel. He could have shared more kindly. "His opinion was wrongly voiced, and could be said in a much more constructive way."

    Which is interesting see how aggressively Antara chose to respond. One of the reasons we are working in these online spaces is so we can practice with tone and mood as well as the content of our conversations.

    I am glad you have taken the time to negotiate these ideas. Is there a summation anyone would like to add? A lesson learned? A next step? A so what?

    ReplyDelete
  8. But Antara, I like how you are keeping this post alive and being a bit critical

    ReplyDelete